What You Can Learn About Job-Hunting From Dating Apps. Really.

Situationship employers (otherwise known as gig employers) frequently like to call you “a prospective member of their family” or highlight “contributing to a purpose” during the recruiting process.

For experts, this kind of language is a red flag. “They say they are a family, but they don’t say what kind of family,” said Martin McGovern, a career consultant and executive coach. “The boss might see you as a family member, but then as soon as the budget changes, they will hire an external cousin and fire you.”

The “making a difference” lingo is more often used today in spaces with precarity and low pay, especially in the nonprofit world, said Erin McGoff, a career coach.

Situationship employers rely on family and purpose language because, whether or not they have revealed it yet, they know they cannot offer you a long-term commitment or health insurance.

Do not fall into this trap! They are not your family — you barely know them, and they want to hire you without giving you benefits or a true commitment.

If you are offered this job and decide to take it, continue your job hunt. Your employer is not committed to you, so you don’t owe them anything.

Imaginationships can be a pink flag. Define the relationship: Only work free hours if you believe they will benefit your career in the long run.

Free hours can be a way to form a relationship with a mentor, but tread carefully; given the power imbalance, it can also be a way to be taken advantage of.

Breadcrumbing (in the case of job interviews, uncompensated work) can be a red or pink flag, said McGoff, the career coach. “I hear from people being asked to do assignments that not only take up a lot of their time, but where they create valuable assets the company uses,” she said. There are exceptions: “You need to use common sense. If it’s a role you really want, you can go the extra mile.”

But it might be worth asking some questions in response to their request: How many candidates are they requesting this material from? How long should the assignment take you? What skills is the assignment meant to showcase? Will the company be using the deliverables for anything other than job consideration? What is the offer timeline?

Thank them for the information. Depending on their answers, McGoff suggested politely offering a truncated version of the assignment. If a company requests 30 posts and 20 reels of social-media content, for example, ask if it would be acceptable to send five posts and two short-form videos.

“Some companies budget for this, so you can always ask if this is a case where they can offer compensation for your time,” McGoff said. But, she added, “don’t ask in an entitled way. Say, ‘Since this will take me X amount of hours, I’m inquiring to see if you offer that.’”

You also can always direct them to previous examples of your work that showcase the skills they are testing for in the assignment.

Based on their answers to your questions, consider, carefully, whether continuing to pursue this job is worth your time.

Love-bombing can feel good, but it doesn’t pay the bills.

Use that flattery to push for a better salary — and point to inflation and other economic challenges to justify annual increases.

Ask for written promises of salary bumps and title changes (ideally, as part of your contract). It may not happen, but it doesn’t hurt to ask.

Cuffing in the job-search world isn’t necessarily a bad thing: If this is the gig you want, great. If not, use this position to look more appealing to other jobs. Only leave your current position once you have a better offer (however you choose to define “better”).

Whelming in the job-search world is best ignored.

Or, if you are being hired in a cohort, talk to other candidates who received offers. Try to deduce the percentage of candidates who, when offered a job at the company, take it. (As with college admissions, this is called the yield rate.)

Yes, they might have a lot of interested applicants. But are you one of them? You need to figure that out for yourself.

Bonus points if they drop the line “It is harder to get a job here than get into Harvard.” (Matthew Bahl, workplace market lead and vice president at the Financial Health Network, a nonprofit financial services consultancy, said that this line is particularly popular in the management and consulting worlds.)

Ghosting after interviews, sadly, is all too common. Follow up once, maybe twice.

Do not wait around after that.

Bahl also noted that ghosting can be a red flag. “Is this really a place you want to spend your time, before they’re even paying you? They’re already not showing you the level of respect you would want to have or you would expect to show them.”

Zombieing, unlike ghosting, might be a positive thing — or not: If a professional contact reaches out to you out of the blue, they probably are looking for something. Figure out what that is.

If this is a person with power over you (someone who makes more money than you, for example, or has the power to help you get a job), proceed, but carefully: They’ve ghosted you once, and they will likely do it again.

Benching is normal in hiring. “Expect them to have a roster,” said McGovern, the career counselor. “Treat companies how they treat you — always have a backup plan, always be dating on the side of your job.”

McGoff agreed: “I’m a huge advocate for staying on the roster. I’m a huge advocate for seeing job interviews as a networking opportunity. And if you don’t get the job, it’s not that their door is closed forever. It’s still an open door. It’s just that right then it didn’t work out, but down the road it might.”

But this kind of practice can be a warning signal. Check Glassdoor, a site where companies are rated by current and former employees, to see if there are reviews that mention turnover rates. If employees stay at this company for less than a year, that flag turns from pink to red.

Watch how employees talk about current and past employees — assume this is how you will be talked about when you are not in the room.

If you can speak to the last person who held the position you are being considered for, try to figure out what their experience was. Assume that yours will be similar if you are offered and take this job.